The Blue Dragon Always Wins — And How Good Nonprofit Leaders Survive Anyway
- Lee Domaszowec
- Sep 8
- 5 min read
This is an important lesson for all of us, whether you’re a nonprofit leaders handle funding cuts, in need of strategies for Board, staff, or volunteer conflict, or you’re just a parent at an amusement park.
My family and I were in the Netherlands, at Efteling, one of Europe’s great amusement parks, when my 7-year-old son Evander learned a tough leadership lesson, even if he didn’t know it.
One of our favorite rides was a dueling roller coaster: two tracks, two dragons, one red, one blue, racing side-by-side. Every time the cars launched, the crowd cheered for their dragon. And every time we rode, every time we watched… the blue dragon won.
Evander couldn’t let it go.
He felt the injustice in his bones. How could they call it a “race” if the outcome was predetermined? Why didn’t anyone fix it? Why wasn’t the red dragon given a fair shot?
He was so consumed by this unfairness that it pulled him out of the joy of the ride and the magic of the day.
If you’ve ever been an Executive Director or Board Member, you’ve been in Evander’s seat. You’ve led your organization through incredible highs, meaningful wins… only to find yourself fixated on the one unfair, infuriating thing that you can’t change.
The unfairness nonprofit leaders live with
In nonprofit leadership, unfairness is baked into the job.
Funder priorities shift with no warning, sometimes after you’ve already built your budget around them.
Boards change direction based on politics, personalities, or one persuasive voice in the room.
Government programs are cut or dismantled, like USAID’s recent gutting—decisions made far away that send shockwaves through organizations serving the most vulnerable people on the planet.
Sometimes the blow is direct and personal. Earlier this year, one of our clients—an animal shelter—had their city funding slashed by 50%. The decision was devastating, and very likely politically driven by a newly elected mayor eager to fund campaign promises at the expense of animals and the community.
It’s a cut they will feel for an entire year. It will limit programs, stress their staff, and force them into difficult choices. And yet, these are good, capable, hard-working people. They continue to partner with the city, their volunteers, and their donors—because their mission is bigger than their frustration.
They refuse to make the red dragon the center of their story.
What most leaders get wrong
When something unfair happens, it’s natural to be angry. It’s natural to feel wronged. But here’s where nonprofit leadership, even at director or Board of Directors level, often breaks down:
The injustice becomes THE story. The more you talk about it, internally or externally, the more it shapes your organizational culture. It gains power over you.
Morale slips. Staff and volunteers start to feel powerless, too. That frustration drains motivation faster than any funding cut.
Decision-making narrows. Leaders begin making choices reactively… out of spite, caution, or fear… instead of strategically.
Over time, it becomes a serious problem that reduces your impact. If you center your leadership around the unfair thing, it will define your organization more than your Mission does.
And here’s the part most consultants won’t say: the longer you complain about the blue dragon, the less your team will believe that you can lead them anywhere else.
Why it gets worse if you don’t shift perspective
As any leader, a manager, director, Executive Director, or Board Chair, your job isn’t just to make decisions. You need to hold the line on focus, morale, and mission clarity.
When you stay locked on the unfair thing:
Donors notice. If your communication drips with resentment, they’ll feel it. And donors, especially major donors and foundations, don’t invest in bitterness. They invest in forward momentum towards solutions that produce measurable positive change.
Partners drift away. No one wants to link arms with an organization that feels stuck. Even allies start to keep their distance if your energy is consumed by frustration… and honestly, no one likes to be around people who complain all the time.
Staff disengages. People who feel like the game is rigged stop playing at full strength. Your best talent will quietly look for the door. Or worse.. They lose their passion for your Mission and just stop trying.
Unfairness is a given in leadership. What’s not a given is how you handle it.
The PhoenixFire Perspective
That day at Efteling, I finally told Evander:
Dude, it doesn’t matter if the blue dragon wins. That’s not the point. We’re the ones who won. Look around you. Everyone here is smiling no matter which coaster they’re on.
We got to ride together, scream our heads off, laugh until our cheeks hurt, and make a memory we’ll carry for the rest of our lives.
And that’s the real point for leaders: The “win” isn’t getting every vote, every grant, every Board decision to go your way. The “win” is that you are in the work—leading, serving, and building impact alongside people you respect, for communities, animals, and causes that matter.
The Cost of Staying Stuck
Here’s the hard truth:If you let resentment become the lens through which you lead, you will lose:
Momentum — The work slows down while you nurse the grievance.
Morale — Your team mirrors your emotional state.
Credibility — Stakeholders start to wonder if you can weather challenges at all.
The opportunity cost is massive. Every week you spend fixated on the unfairness is a week you’re not pursuing new donors, new partnerships, or new solutions. That’s not just wasted time—it’s a compounded loss of impact.
Actionable Steps for Leaders Facing Unfairness
Here’s how we coach clients through these moments—whether it’s a funding cut, a policy shift, or an internal decision you disagree with:
Name the Unfairness Put it on the table. Your staff and Board need to know you see it and acknowledge it. Suppressing it won’t make it go away—it will just send it underground.
Define What’s Still in Your Control Make a concrete list. This is where your action plan lives, and it’s where you regain your agency.
Protect the Energy of the Team Don’t let every meeting become a post-mortem on the injustice. Keep your team’s conversations about forward action, not stuck cycles.
Recommit to the MissionUse the setback as a rallying point. “Yes, this happened. No, it doesn’t stop us.”
Keep Perspective Zoom out. Remember the “rest of the amusement park.” Most of your work, relationships, and impact are still intact.
Why This Matters More in Nonprofits
Nonprofit work is deeply personal. We’re not producing a product—we’re changing lives, defending rights, saving animals, and strengthening communities. That’s why the hits feel personal. And that’s why they can derail your leadership if you let them.
But perspective is a choice. And it’s one of the most powerful tools you have.
If you spend all your energy staring at the red dragon, you’ll miss the dozens of other rides, experiences, and wins that are still yours to claim.
For more on leading under funding pressure, read It’s Not Always a Leadership Problem: Rethinking Fundraising Under Pressure.
The PhoenixFire Difference
We don’t minimize losses, and we don’t dismiss frustration. But we refuse to let it become the story.
We help leaders:
Process the setback without letting it define their culture.
Identify new opportunities and strategies that are still within reach.
Build resilience so the next “red dragon” doesn’t take as big a toll.
We’re not here to tell you it’s fair. We’re here to help you lead through it.
Your Next Step
If you’ve been staring at your own “red dragon” for too long, it’s time to step back and see the rest of the park.
Schedule your confidential strategy call with PhoenixFire today so we can help you turn that unfair loss into your next big win. Together, we’ll protect your mission, strengthen your culture, and keep your organization moving forward—no matter which dragon crosses the finish line first.
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